Top Ten Reasons Numbered Lists Insult Your Intelligence, Number 4 Will Shock You.

Top Ten Reasons Numbered Lists Insult Your Intelligence, Number 2 will Obfuscate and Confuse:

10: They are largely made up by uncreative opinionated blowhards.

This is true, the people who make up these lists are mostly people like you or me, except they have too much time on their hands, or worse yet generating this content is their job. I can only imagine that generating these lists is slightly above World of Warcraft gold farmer or any other sweat shop laborer.

9: When they aren't created by opinionated blowhards they are created without an opinion.

Blah blah blah, that is about the amount of thought I can put into a content about some silly list about 90s toys or Nickelodean TV shows. Clarissa why don't you explain this at all? 

8: By merely clicking on the link the person hosting the list makes money whether their information is informative, entertaining, titillating or not.

At points this is how the internet works. People load up a page with ads. Even if some of the people clicking the link run an ad blocker

7: The more sensationalist the headline the more likely you are to click it.

I'm pretty horrible about this. The crazier the headline the more I want to click it. I do my best to decline but at points I can't help myself. Celebrity plastic surgery failures, reasons the Illuminati think that Doctor Who is great for mind control, or  

6: Most are set up as some sort of gallery.

That title you clicked on promised that number 21 of 203 was the most shocking/disturbing/revealing. Unfortunately to be generous most galleries in click bait lists will only show you 3 items at a time so to be generous means that in that list you would have gone through 61 page views to see, and the person hosting the list has gotten 61 page views worth of add impressions... This is an egregious example but you get it.

5: Your favorite celberitis are involved:

 The Bieb, Lady Gaga, Psy I don't know who else the kids like these days. But no doubt the idea that there are 21 secrets about Jaleel White that you didn't know makes you really want to click that link. Even though there aren't 21 secretes behind it and it only links to his web page. Hellm maybe you should click on it anyway. What's that guy up to?

4. Your fitness level is either deficient, or you've been doing things wrong, or your extreme fitness could be improved.

Okay, so, I've bought some weights and don't know what to do with them. Perhaps I will check out some social media or hell google. Wow, I never knew that there could be so many conflicting opinions that would basically agree on the same thing. Move. Not to deter anyone from bettering themselves but just pushing yourself a bit should progress yourself a little bit. Pushing yourself a lot will progress you a lot. It's not rocket science.

3. There is some allusion towards a get rich quick thing.

Of course you would click on this one. Why millionaires use certain credit cards? Because these credit cards (which have the best rates) are the ones used by millionaires. Never mind the fact that I would assume that most millionaires pay off their credit cards every month and never pay interest. Or perhaps there is some other secret that millionaires have that other people just don't know but can afford. Here is the real secret millionaires aren't really that rich anymore given inflation. It's the billionaires and trillionaires that we have to worry about. In any case when you interact with them on a real world level they are about as dumb as rocks given their sheltered lives but they expect to be treated like geniuses because 

1. Clickbait links are always complete bullshit you shouldn't click them, you shouldn't share them, it's even slightly dangerous to share this one!!!!

What is wrong with you? You've seen what a dirty cash grab a thing is why do you decide to share it? To websites at large why do you let the whole "across the web" thing exist at the bottom of your webpage? They largely are just garbage designed to stimulate me to click on your stupidity. You have info on me and stuff that I click on. You know that I hate myself and I am prone to occasionally ordering a month's worth of canned chili at a time.

[I reserve the right to add images to this post.and change it post release. I probably won't but I think a good photo would go a long way]